Christmas WTF

Christmas is a time of cheer,

A great excuse to drink more beer.

But some people take it a bit too far; 

Enough to drive me to a late night bar!

Here are the things that bug me to no end;

And a few things that bug some of my new Facebook friends.

 High Five - The Mommy Ref

Hope you enjoy, or at least can relate...

#1 - Reindeer ears on door windows or any other decoration of the car.  I don’t get it.  It doesn’t look like a reindeer.  You have to keep your windows up at all times or the person behind you will have an antler in their grill.  Just don’t get it.

#2 - Giving Christmas items as a Christmas gift makes no sense to me.  Nothing says, here is something for you to store for a whole year and enjoy it later like this.  Why would I want to open a holiday ornament on Christmas just to store it until next Christmas?  

#3 - Christmas clothing, because nothing says “sexy” like shiny ornament balls hanging off my shirt.  Oh, don’t want to forget my dangle ornament earrings and sparkly pin to put it all together.  Bling baby!  Someone had the right idea starting the trend of “Ugly Sweater” parties.  Put those hideous things to go use…again only once a year.  I already dressed up once this year, it was called Halloween.

#4 - Holiday baskets filled with cheer, scratch that, cheap foam fills and  sub par candy.  Oh and popcorn that is edible if you are lucky and not just packing peanuts.  What says I love you, care about you, am thinking about you more than a 90% empty container made to look full.  Ironic.  Now be honest…you have re-gifted at least one of these in your time.

#5 - Jewelry commercials – They go all out making partners around the global feel guilty if they don’t drop at least $500 on some diamond sparkly jewelry.  If you don’t buy into this, no worries they will try again in February.  Pile on the pressure.

#6 - Christmas Movies – not all of them, just the ones that people feel the need to remake over and over.  Lifetime channel and Hallmark are repeat offenders of this.  They are already advertising it.  How many ways can the Christmas Carol be remade?   Three ghosts visit someone being a bunghole and then they change their ways.  Call it what you want, the story ends the same.  If you are bored look up the adaptations of a Christmas Carol on Google, it is nuts.

#7 - Laura S - The over abundance on the Christmas Music  - I totally agree and and not sure how I missed this one!  It is so bad that one station out here in MommyRef Land has it on loop and you can listen to the same song at the same time each and EVERY day....  Why?  Too much!

#8 -  Catrina A - Fruitcake  - Another duh moment for me!  Do people really eat that stuff?

#9 - Diary of an Unbreakable Mom - The commercialization of Christmas.  Indeed I remember as a kid eager for Thanksgiving to be over so the Christmas stuff would start to appear.  Now it starts even before Halloween in some cases. Black Friday started on Wednesday night this year.  Cyber Monday started on Saturday.  However, Thankful Tuesday didn't start early, don't give back early...just take take take...spend spend spend.

What is it that drive YOU crazy?

Is Christmas Over Yet?

This weekend we put up our Christmas tree and all of our favorite decorations. It was fun for us all with reindeer ears on and wine in my hand. But then today my middle minion (5yrs) asked me to take down the Christmas tree, all the decorations and skip Christmas this year. My heart breaks for this minion. She does not like Christmas and the magic it brings. She believes so strongly that she is willing to give up any promise of presents to just make the big fat guy and his toy making elf stay away. She is terrified. Not scared, but terrified. No Christmas movies, no stories, she actually wants no Christmas. We can't have a countdown calendar because it makes her more anxious. It breaks my heart. If she was the only child I would just tell her the truth about all this Christmas stuff. About the hype it brings. I would tell her there is no Santa and that elves are not real either. I would strip all the magic so she can sleep at night. But I can't. I still have 2 other minions that are all excited about the promise of magic. The excitement of the season. Last night she was at my bedside at 1:30 sobbing with fear that the big guy was going to come even though we are over a month away. Last year, we taught the real meaning of Christmas. Celebrating the birth of Jesus in an attempt to redirect the attention, but she is stubborn. She is strong. And she will not let go of the magic she believes in so strongly it scares her. This will be another long holiday season for us. I will be undecorating on Dec 26th first thing in the morning and I will have one very eager helper to do so.

Trying To Focus

Looking at myself lately…looking at the good and the bad. Evaluating decisions that have led me to where I am today. My family and kids are what I am most proud of.  I can think of everything awesome for my hubby, kids and family, but I keep finding myself forcing to refocus on things about “me”. It is sad really.  I mean I have never been a selfish person.  I am content with going without for others…but this time…it is not ok.  I need to refocus.  I need to make myself a priority.  I am not happy with where “I” am.  I am not talking about as a Wife, Mommy, or Career… I am referring to the rawest form of me.

I have been trying to digest why I get so angry at the drop of a hat.  Why am I “that” person now?  Why can I not control it?  Why do I continue to blast off just to cry off the embarrassment later?  I don’t have the answer, but I have some background thoughts.  Although I have the world… I am missing me.  I need to invest in me.  I have said this before and it lasts about 2 weeks.  My “me train” gets derailed and instead of getting back up on the rails….I stay on the sidelines.  Instead of plunging forward, I slip backwards.  Instead of doing things for me, I slip back into doing things for others…then I feel lost again.

Reality should have set in when the doctor identified me as obese.  My blood pressure high and in need of meds if not controlled.  My knees hurt going up the stairs.  I am tired after playing with the kids for short periods of time.  I am embarrassed in family pictures.  I avoid cameras.  But it hasn’t…and that bothers me…but it still hasn’t been enough for me to change.  Why?

With everything I do I want to be the best…I excel and make sure it is executed in a timely manner…but for myself I am continuously missing the mark.

Dear Driver Of The Flashy Jag:

Your ability to weave in and out of traffic at a high rate of speed (in a 35 mph zone) and end up as the car in front of me at the red light is AMAZING!  It was almost as impressive as the driver of the black truck weaving in and out of lanes on the freeway.....only to find himself behind me at the red light of the off ramp.  Kudos to your stupidity and disregard of others!!  Your stamp of stupidity is in the mail.  Race over there to watch for it!  

Why I Hate Mondays

Why is it that on days that begin with “S” it is near impossible to sleep in? Even if I am fortunate enough to have one or more of my kids sleep in past 6am, I am up for some reason.  Yet, come Monday morning I am pealing myself and the kids out of bed?  Monday seems to be the only day in our house that a body under 5 feet tall could possibly sleep in.  This is why I hate Mondays.

It takes enough energy to get myself up and moving.  Just as I am feeling accomplished with two feet on the ground… I remember that I am soon to be faced with little faces that do not want to get up.  Little faces that I would love to stay asleep and rest the two days prior, but have decided yet again, that Monday is a day to sleep in.  This is why I hate Mondays.

Today, I took the easy way out.  I went downstairs and began to make lunches.  As I was willing my eyes to stay open, I just kept hoping that Hubby would wake up the kids.  I turned on the radio and the coffee pot and pretended it was 10am instead of 5am.  I pulled out my favorite creamer, because coffee is all about the creamer and got to making lunches.  Thankfully when I chose my hubby many moons ago I made sure he had super mind reading powers.

He began operation wake up the grumpy.  It worked! I didn’t have to fight more eyes than my own to stay open!  He fought the fight and pealed the minions from their warm beds.  Got them dressed and sent them down for breakfast…..just in time for me to go up and get dressed for work.  I think I found my recipe for sanity on Monday morning = avoidance!  I may not get the Mommy of the Year award for this morning’s events…..but I did get a bit of sanity on a Monday morning.

Elevators

How is it that something so small and so quick can be so awkward for people?  Why do people find the elevator to be so awkward and uncomfortable?  I am not convinced they are all claustrophobic.  It is quite intriguing to me that the ride last under 30 seconds and yet, the entire world stops.  I have determined there most be a set of unwritten rules that I have not been privy to because it happens all the time.

Just the other day, I entered an empty elevator.  I was standing in the back corner breathing slowing willing down my blood pressure so I wouldn't get a lecture from my Doc.  Two other people got on the elevator next.  Before they got on the elevator they were talking and obviously knew each other. Once across the magical elevator opening.....silence!  A man got into the elevator moved to the control panel and pushed the buttons for the doors to close. The common factor, they all got in and turned towards the door.  Staring at the door and not looking at one another.  Just facing forward like a statue, still as can be.

Maybe it has to do with personal space?  Casual conversations happen within 1.5 to 4 feet of each other.  The elevator really compromises this space that some require.


As an experiment, I decided that every elevator I got on for the week I would enter the elevator and continue to face the rear of the elevator until the door opened for me to leave.  I also wished every person that got off before me a good day.  You would not believe how uncomfortable people were.  No eye contact, shifting around as if they can not wait to get out.  Then I added a bit to the test.  Are you ready for it...... I said "Hello" as new people got on.  Some people actually ignored me and said NOTHING.  But most people simply nodded not violating the silence motto.  I guess it boils down to this, if you want to act "appropriately" here are some tips:

Know Your Limits 
Keep your buffer!  Don't make any sudden movements, especially smiling.  Make sure you are always facing the door.

People: Stay Separate
4 People: Each person should take a corner
5 or More People: Face the door, do not touch anyone! Refrain from smiling!

Avoid Eye Contact
Those blank stares you see are screaming - "DO NOT DISTURB!"

Conversations 
Cease

In my observations, these tips will assist you in having a nice comfortable elevator ride.

However, it was really fun to break the rules and see people squirm.

Coach

Sports, is my comfort zone.  Sports is my go to.  I grew up playing sports, any sports. I loved to play.  I was good at some things and others not so much.  I didn't care if I was good, I just loved to play.  I loved the rush you got working as a team and the bigger rush when you did something as an individual for your team.

While I was going through college I began to coach various basketball teams.  I loved the game and loved to teach others about it.  I enjoyed watching the kids develop.  I enjoyed watching the joy in their face when they made a basket or a great pass.  I enjoyed the excitement of the games.  I enjoyed teaching.  I enjoyed the kids. I enjoyed everything about coaching those kids, except the parents.

I stopped coaching back then because of the parents.  The parents that never did play a sport themselves and are trying to live through their child.  The parents who were great as children and expect their child to be great.  The parents that think their child is the best, when they are not.  The parents that force their child to play something in which they have no interest.  I stopped because of them.

Now I am one, a parent.  I have always promised that I will not be one of those parents.  I will be there to encourage my children.  I will allow them to chose what they would like to try out.  The only part my husband and I enforce is this...If you start a season or session, you finish it.  There is no quitting.

No quitting, that is the part that I have to remember.

Lately life has thrown some curve balls, but I must remember..not to quit.