No way, absolutely not, I would have never:
Told my son to pull jeans from the laundry pile, they don't look dirty. You will be fine.
Said to get those old to get those dirty balls out of your mouth….to my son
Asked my children to stop screaming so I can hear myself scream.
Washed my hands and then poured more soap on my hands in an effort to grab a paper towel
Attempted to put the milk away in the cupboard
Forgot about my cold brew iced tea I was making for over 30 mins (it only takes 3mins) Oh and this was not the first time either!
I did not write my daughter's birthday wrong on the forms I sent to school. Nope not me. I mean my mom would have NEVER had to call me at work to let me know that I forgot my own daughter's birthday, I mean I was there for it! Nope not me!
I did not fall asleep at 6:45pm on a Saturday night. I would never do that, that is way too lazy.
I did not let my daughter sleep in her clothes because she "loves her dress so much" and wanted to sleep in it too.
I do not shake the coffee creamer with the lid open spraying creamer all over the kitchen floor and myself. I would never be too tired to do something like that.
I would never admit that my lil son said "damn it" clear as day. There is no way my child would have heard that from me, nope never.
I did not allow my children to yell in the parking structure at the hotel because they realized it echoed.
I did not tell my 4 year old that I have special powers to know when he is lying.
I did not feed my children junior mints at 7:30 in the morning to keep them quiet.
I would not to these things as I am far more organized and put together than this. Ok, so maybe, just maybe I lied about having super powers...but the jury is still out on that one.